20 Ways To Identify A Nigerian Movie

Nigerian actors showcasing their talent in a movie. 

Ever wondered how those poor cinematic tricks are executed and gasped over their unashamed style of shooting the scenes?

Here are 20 ways that will walk you through how to spot them:

1. A man will always bleed from the mouth after being shot in the leg

2. The T.V. still makes noise even if you put it on volume 1

3. Millionaires have a "Gate Man" instead of an electric gate

4. A flashback plays for 40 minutes

5. A track is played in the background until the end

6. Women wake up with makeup and ear rings in the morning

7. A ghost first looks both sides before crossing the road

8. They spend 30 mins showing someone packing, moving out of the house, boarding a bus all the way to the village

9. Qualified medical doctors always refer patients to witch doctors

10. After shooting a character and he/she dies, the person sometimes opens eyes not knowing the camera is still recording

11. A dark and ugly baby grows up to be the hunk in the movie e.g. Van Vicker or Ramsey Noah

12. An actor/actress is growing up, he/she enters in an uncompleted building and comes out as an adult. Surprise!

13. A policeman spends fifteen minutes threatening to kill an armed robber and another five minutes cocking the gun (as the victim stands there watching) and then spends another ten minutes shouting, “I will kill you today,” after which he shoots his gun (the sound is often not in sequence with the trigger pull)

14. An actor/actress has the same hairstyle for 6 years in a single movie...

15. A shoot-out takes place in front of a glass house and no single glass pane is cracked or broken

16. A mad actor/actress goes to the waste bin and picks up a freshly made bread, fruits and food

17. The thugs are always in black and tie black ribbons on the head with dark glasses and always found in incomplete buildings

18. The actresses dress like they are going clubbing when they are just going to visit their grandmothers in the Village

19. An actress wears makeup and combs her hair before going to bed...

20. You see half naked models on the cover of the disc who may not even appear on any scene in the movie

The above 20 points are not intended to jeopardize the growing Nollywood industry. It is just another gesture of creating a humorous piece for the shortcomings that I think needs to be reevaluated.